What is Friendship Breakup?

Why the word "breakup" sounds strange in friendship

More and more people are using the term breakup in friendships. On my recent Google search, "friendship breakup" (in quotes) yielded 14,600 hits, which suggests that a number of people have actually used this exact term.

A friendship breakup is an explicit manner of ending a friendship. It happens when you actually tell your friend that you don't want to be friends anymore. However, breakup lines such as "Sorry, I can't do this anymore" or "It's not you, it's me" are things that we normally find in romantic relationships, not in friendships. So it does sound a little odd when you hear that two friends have officially broken up. What is it about breakups that make it sound strange in friendships?

The Nature of Breakups

In countries where serial monogamy is practiced, people are expected to breakup with their existing partner before they could pursue a new one. Serial monogamy is a type of romantic relationship where a person can have one exclusive relationship at a time over the course of his or her lifetime (Mulder, 2009). When people pursue a new relationship without breaking up with their existing one, they may be considered cheaters. Therefore, breakups are necessary in romantic relationships.

When it comes to friendships, people are allowed to have more than one friend at a time. So it appears that breaking up is not necessary because it does not involve the same consequences as in romantic relationships. Also, there are other ways of ending a friendship aside from breakups. Depending on the nature of your friendship or your personality, you may wish to end your friendship without confronting your friend. You can simply avoid your friend, or slowly downgrade your friendship to acquaintances. Most people would probably find it difficult to say “let’s end our friendship” to someone who was dear to them before. But sometimes, non-confrontational strategies don't work, so you may have to send the message explicitly to set your intentions straight.

Friends are important but sometimes, situations arise where breakups are necessary. I'm sure that some of you would say that true friends don't breakup... but as devastating as it is, they do happen. I hope that this post gave you an idea what friendship breakup is about, and it shouldn't sound strange anymore the next time you hear it.

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References:

Mulder, M. (2009). Serial monogamy as polygyny or polyandry? Human Nature, 20, 130-150.

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